Sitting on the Bench
You might think “Sitting on the Bench” refers to the 2nd or 3rd string of the varsity or junior varsity basketball or football teams. But no, “the Bench” is located at 733 Turnpike Street, N. Andover, Master Shin’s Martial Arts. It is a long, wooden box like structure, which not only offers seating, but also has become a source of friendship, support, gossip, competition, networking, car pools and many other aspects of daily life. On test days or on Championship Saturdays, the bench also offers intrigue, rage, the sweet taste of victory, and the bitter taste of defeat. Note that the more emotional feelings are those of the parents, the kids seem to take everything that happens, win, lose or draw in stride. The bench for a Tae Kwon Do parent is more than a place to sit; it has become a world of its own.
Depending on the family, and the number of children and adults enrolled at Master Shins, you can spend three, four or five days a week at Master Shins. Here everybody knows your face, your name, your spouse, your child, your child’s belt, and your child’s test date. I would not be surprised if somewhere a list is being kept of other vital information such as height, weight, blood type, favorite food and car you drive. Nothing escapes the watch full eye of Master Shin and the frequent visitors to the Bench.
Every day at drop off time parents are faced with a dilemma, to stay or not to stay. If you are running late the decision is easy, stop the car, drop the kids and hit the gas. This is easier than finding a parking space and going into Master Shin’s and facing the disapproving parents who can not understand why you can not get your child to class on time. If this isn’t bad enough, you always wonder if Master Shin himself may say something, or worse yet, make you do twenty push-ups.
On most afternoons I find my way to the bench, say my hellos, exchange any vital information with other parents and then settle down on the bench with my Duncan Donuts coffee in hand. The best part of the bench is watching the kids’, not for how good they are but for who they are and how they interact with each other. A recent incident that I found quite amusing involved my son Joey, and Tommy and Benjamin Kincaid. Tommy and Joey have become good friends since starting at Master Shin’s two years ago. This has become a cause for concern for five-year-old Benjamin, who believes that Joey is trying to steal his brother and have Tommy move out and live with Joey. Taking matters into his own hands, Benjamin spoke to my daughter Mary about this situation believing that Mary would have no interest in having another brother. Mary assured him that Tommy would not be moving in – it was bad enough having Joey as a brother. As you can see, Master Shins can be a source of all kinds of intrigue and back room maneuverings.
Once a month on test day, the “Bench” at Tae Kwon Do becomes the most stress full place to be in North Andover. On test day a parent has no choice but to find a spot on the bench in support of their child and all the other kids. On test days you are pulling for all the kids, and their parents. Huddled with a collection of other parents, you recite to yourself all aspects of the mental education; the definitions, the pledges, belt meanings, flag meanings etc. You know that you practiced them, you can remember them why can’t they?
As the testing goes forward, you see concern on different parent’s face. You realize that you also are wearing a worried look. The test is almost complete, but for the breaking of the boards. As parents you know that you must let your child succeed or fail on their own, as both offer lessons on life. But success can be managed and achieved if only your child can grab the correct board to break. Grab a thin one, one with knots you want to shout. It is the consensus of the bench that thin boards with knots are the easiest to break. As the board breaking begins and a child kicks, the all to familiar thud of flesh hitting a board is the sign of an unsuccessful kick. All attendees of the bench, no matter what family the child is from, let out a communal groan, followed with a spirited, “come on, one more time and kick through the board”. Everyone in the room, students and parents alike are waiting to here the “snap” of splitting wood caused by a perfect kick. When the “snap” comes, the bench rises with applause and smiles, each parent satisfied knowing that this child will not have to be consoled that night for failing to break the board.
As each student attains the next higher belt, new no-belt students emerge. With each passing day the bench is more crowded with new faces and new names. As white becomes yellow, and orange becomes green, life on the bench moves forward.
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